The Sturgeon Falls

We traverse the ice-sheet,
crack a hole with a mallet,
and wait for the wiley sturgeon.

The lure of the caviar beckons,
the ancient greed must be slaked.

Our frozen heart beat quickens,
in dying trees by the icy lake.

EXISTENTIAL GRIPE #2
& MOTHERS' DAY POEM 2007



If it weren't for the
cor anglais,
the apricot ice cream
and the comedy of Michael Winslow.

I'd be out of here.

Like the Hubble Telescope.

Word to your mother.

EXISTENTIAL GRIPE # 1

Immune to reason,
cleaned of any point,
each filament plucked,
all marrow sucked out,
meaning long gone.

The bone of living continues
after the corpse has vanished.

Hello my friends,

As you may know, there is a religious poem called Footprints, the authorship of which is under some dispute. For a fuller examination of this, please see here and here.

I had no idea of this when I had my dream last week. For the first time ever, I dreamt an entire poem. I rushed to the computer and wrote it down even as the words were fading from my mind like breath on a window in the winter time.

My poem differed from the other versions in being about the fictional television detective Thomas Magnum, aka Magnum PI.

I have considered Magnum PI to be a semi-deity for some years, although I would rather not discuss it. To me the idea of an omnipotent Magnum is as strong and powerful as anything one might find in Scientology.

I certainly meant no disrespect to all the writers who claim to be the original author of this poem. Something weird happened anyway, and here is the result.

Lep Loney


Hawaiian Footprints

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed
he was walking along the beach with Magnum PI.


Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of
footprints in the sand: one belonging
to him, and the other to Magnum PI.


When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.


He noticed that many times along the path of
his life there was only one set of footprints.


He also noticed that it happened at the very
lowest and saddest times in his life.


This really bothered him and he
questioned the Magnum PI about it:


"Magnum PI, you said that once I decided to follow
you, you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life,
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when
I needed you most you would leave me."

Magnum PI replied:

"I could say this: During your times of trial and suffering,when you see only one set of footprints,it was then that I carried you. But actually, I was bit tired of all your crap and often I just took off and had margaritas with Rick and TC at the King Kamehameha club.

I am not God, I’m just a great-looking guy with a cool car and a moustache. My advice, don’t be such a whiny, crybaby.”